Okay, I know this isn't my typical style of posting, but then, this isn't a normal post. Please at least allow me to pour my heart out, as this serves as a very, very personal background for my next post about the teachers:
Being a co-curricularlly active senior student at my school usually means you're very busy during "special times", including the start of the year. Well, during that time, I've been spending more time at school outside of classes rather than in. The subject that I skipped the most is National Language ( NL) classes. I probably skipped about 5 lessons out of six per week for at least 3 weeks.
And then She came. Miss Helen. She was...... really tiny. Even at below average height when compared to my classmates, I had to lower my sight if we're both standing and going eye-to-eye. You can try to immagine how she'll look beside most of my classmates. Suffice to say, they towered over her. She's a trainee teacher, fresh out of the lecture halls, ready to take a peep at this daunting world of education. Guess what she teaches? Precisely the subject I skipped the most.
My first occuring thought when she walked into the class and introduced herself, "Missy, you're in for a gigantic mess. Not many teacher's 'survive' their trainee period here, so...... (shrugs) Your life ain't gonna be easy. Good luck...... you'll need every bit of it. "
At about mid February, its widely known that she's easy-going enough that some are really tempted to push her to the limits. I had to admit, I was one of those few sometimes. So once, I cracked a joke on something she just said(You know which one, Miss - "leg-cross" is the word). She didn't even wince. That kind of made me raise my eyebrows, in a good way. Since then, I decided to stop myself from getting too far. No good playing this game if you respect someone, and I started to respect her.
And so, I began to start focusing in her class. It was a little late, as mid-March was just around the corner on that time, and she's leaving in late April. Still, her classes are amongst the few I did not skip or sleep in with impunity, to say for my somewhat "rebellious" acts. She was an excellent teacher, willing to both teach and learn from her students. Sometimes, she could inspire some and bring out the best in them. Her only flaw in teaching is her inexperience. She probably needs some time to develop her own "signature style".
Late-April - Her trainee period was over. She left our school at the 25th. For me, something did not feel alright. At the time, it was as if something was missing, or out of place, right...... thear. We still managed to get in contact, though I'm drowned in exam preparations.
Miss Helen left for her hometown at the 5th of May. I considered it my fault for didn't see her off at the airport, since her plane was scheduled to take off after my school hours, as well as the fact that my home was not far from the airport - 15 minutes drive at the most. But then and there, she's leaving, and I am definitely missing her. Undeniably, my original NL teacher teaches far better, yet I'm also irresistably sleeping in her classes, a sign my friend CJ (no, his number is not 7 and he's not blubbery and fluffy) didn't fail to notice. (Heck, I'm falling asleep in most of my classes - Biology, Physics, Moral Education - and I still feel pangs of guilt when I think about it.)
All in all, there's no doubt about me. I've grown to actually...... well, I don't know how to phrase it myself, though "care" seems to be a slightly suitable word for it. Yup, I care about her more than a normal student cares about an average teacher. She is becoming more to me than just a mentor, a tutor. Here's a verse I excerpted and translated from a song, 保佑我 , "Bless Me", for Miss Helen, with the lyrics changed:
Bless her, to be a most distinguished teacher,
Bless me, to be able to cross that horizon to meet her again.
Bless her, so that she'll recognize me when we see each other again,
Bless me, to know her small, lithe form everywhere.
Bless her, to lead a life far happier than mine,
Let her life be blissful and full of laughter and light.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Of Battles, Wars and Fights...
Battles have been and will always be waging in the universe. Fights have been and will always be fought anywhere, anytime. From the dawn of time, every species of living beings on Earth, have fought rigourously to continue their existence, from the tiniest microbe, to the gigantic dinosaurs, to us, the humans.
Even today, in a civilised human society, there are plenty of causes for fights - a bar brawl, for example, may simply occurs just because someone ate too much peanuts. Sometimes, the fights are not neccessarily physical. Even in our very selves, light and darkness are struggling with each other, as good and evil contest to lay claim to us.
No matter what battles you fight, seldom does the chance occured that you fight to lose. In order to win any battle, you must first know your self, your enemy, your battleground. As Sun Tzu quotes in his Art of War, "To know thy self and thy enemy is the key to win every one of a hundred battles." Knowing the strengths and weaknesses of you and your opponent will allow you to exploit them and gain the upper hand.
Yet, we sometimes lose ourselves in the heat of battle. We got carried away, and we sometimes did things we might regret. "When you're pushed, killing comes as easy as breathing," said Stallone, and its not just the act, or thought, of murder that may come to us. So, we must know, when we are fighting, what exactly are we fighting for, be it to protect others, to test our strength, etc.
For myself, I fight just for the sake of fighting. The strain, the adrenalin, the injuries suffered - they all break the monotony of my life nicely. And as I said, those fights aren't neccessarily physical. The nature of life is that when one battle ends, another will begin in its place. Looks like I wouldn't be stopping anytime soon. Battle on!
Even today, in a civilised human society, there are plenty of causes for fights - a bar brawl, for example, may simply occurs just because someone ate too much peanuts. Sometimes, the fights are not neccessarily physical. Even in our very selves, light and darkness are struggling with each other, as good and evil contest to lay claim to us.
No matter what battles you fight, seldom does the chance occured that you fight to lose. In order to win any battle, you must first know your self, your enemy, your battleground. As Sun Tzu quotes in his Art of War, "To know thy self and thy enemy is the key to win every one of a hundred battles." Knowing the strengths and weaknesses of you and your opponent will allow you to exploit them and gain the upper hand.
Yet, we sometimes lose ourselves in the heat of battle. We got carried away, and we sometimes did things we might regret. "When you're pushed, killing comes as easy as breathing," said Stallone, and its not just the act, or thought, of murder that may come to us. So, we must know, when we are fighting, what exactly are we fighting for, be it to protect others, to test our strength, etc.
For myself, I fight just for the sake of fighting. The strain, the adrenalin, the injuries suffered - they all break the monotony of my life nicely. And as I said, those fights aren't neccessarily physical. The nature of life is that when one battle ends, another will begin in its place. Looks like I wouldn't be stopping anytime soon. Battle on!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Music - Part of My Life, My Soul.
Alright, anyone out there who'd never listen to music? If so, Then you're either deaf (my sincerest sympathies) or inattentive to the sounds around you. Music isn't just some piece of squiggles on lined papers that maestros write and translate into vibrations of the air, it is simply the feeling you get when you listen to sounds around you, when your heart is at peace or soaring. Music is a universal language for all to hear - it lets you relate to it to others who'd have the same feelings. It is one of the greatest most beautiful things of the world, and you have my greatest sympathies if you cannot appreciate it.
Nature has its own symphonies. Compared to those writen and orchestrated by humans, each and every one of nature's are far grander, more beautiful, more powerful, more terrible, more touching, more...... The list goes on. You get what I mean. It resonates with the very fibre of the core of humans, stikes a chord so deep within us, we'd never realise it until then. The gentle trickling of streams, the rustle of wind-blown leaves , the roar of thunderstorms... these are all the music that Gaia, Mother Nature herself, write and play, and we, as children of the nature, should revel in their presence, and learn to be at one with our All-Mother.
Man-made music had always strived to match nature in that aspect, to produce music and lyrics that are capable to struck that chord in our soul. Some release the wild side within you, some move you to tears, others may have different effects on you. Yet, I believe that if you play out the song with your heart and soul, everyone who would listen could appreciate and relate to it like you do, especially if they had a similar connection to the song as you have, or, just a connection with you. (Try "High School Musical")
Nowadays, popular musical artists are so famous, their lives were on the constant interruption from fans and reporters. Some stray from the path. Instead of producing music because they love to do it, they do it for the money. The fame. Some even go for certain "promotional" pieces in order to sell their music better. Sigh......
Music is one of the passions of life. Yet, some people twisted it for their own perverse gain. As a listener, there's nothing I can do, except listening in silence to the music without bothering what happened to the people involved in its production. I mean, who cares if people boycott a certain artist's song because he/she had a scandal? Just appreciate the music. I didn't ask you to care about the artist, or the producer. All artists die like people do, but true music is ageless and will remain immortal.
Don't turn music into business, or politics, or something else. Music has been around for a longer time than even humans. So stop pretending that its a man-made discovery or invention that can be twisted. LOVE THE MUSIC.
(Su Ziheng, this post is for you, from a music lover, to another. Thank you for inspiring me about a topic on music. I guess having a friend who shares a name really makes a difference.)
Nature has its own symphonies. Compared to those writen and orchestrated by humans, each and every one of nature's are far grander, more beautiful, more powerful, more terrible, more touching, more...... The list goes on. You get what I mean. It resonates with the very fibre of the core of humans, stikes a chord so deep within us, we'd never realise it until then. The gentle trickling of streams, the rustle of wind-blown leaves , the roar of thunderstorms... these are all the music that Gaia, Mother Nature herself, write and play, and we, as children of the nature, should revel in their presence, and learn to be at one with our All-Mother.
Man-made music had always strived to match nature in that aspect, to produce music and lyrics that are capable to struck that chord in our soul. Some release the wild side within you, some move you to tears, others may have different effects on you. Yet, I believe that if you play out the song with your heart and soul, everyone who would listen could appreciate and relate to it like you do, especially if they had a similar connection to the song as you have, or, just a connection with you. (Try "High School Musical")
Nowadays, popular musical artists are so famous, their lives were on the constant interruption from fans and reporters. Some stray from the path. Instead of producing music because they love to do it, they do it for the money. The fame. Some even go for certain "promotional" pieces in order to sell their music better. Sigh......
Music is one of the passions of life. Yet, some people twisted it for their own perverse gain. As a listener, there's nothing I can do, except listening in silence to the music without bothering what happened to the people involved in its production. I mean, who cares if people boycott a certain artist's song because he/she had a scandal? Just appreciate the music. I didn't ask you to care about the artist, or the producer. All artists die like people do, but true music is ageless and will remain immortal.
Don't turn music into business, or politics, or something else. Music has been around for a longer time than even humans. So stop pretending that its a man-made discovery or invention that can be twisted. LOVE THE MUSIC.
(Su Ziheng, this post is for you, from a music lover, to another. Thank you for inspiring me about a topic on music. I guess having a friend who shares a name really makes a difference.)
Friday, March 21, 2008
Why Do You Live?
Almost everyone had thought of commiting suicide one time or another in life. Yet most continue to live on, as they see new light. Others who weren't so fortunate... Well, may they find peace in afterlife. If it exists, that is.
However, since we can't prove that it does, let 's assume it doesn't. Then, why would you choose death over life, why choose to end it? Is it because of the accident that happened to you resulting in your crippled condition? Then know that many have been born with worse, yet they continue to flare their spark of life no matter how short the time left for it to burn bright. Is the wound to you mental, rather than physical? Say you've lost loved ones, and not just by death? There've been many who lost everyone they've loved in wars, disasters, famine, yet they found others to love and be loved. Is it simply because you cannot find the drive to live? Then what, exactly, rouses your passion?
What has been the drive to survive for living beings around the world? Observing the history of the living, its obvious that many were drived to be immortal. Not in the sense of lifespan, of course, but every animal and plant wanted to ensure its continued existence on Earth through leaving its trace in the form of genes. Yep, if you can't live on as yourself, then live as the on whom you borne.
But in the civilised life of today's humans, that is not what you'd call "the way". Rather, there are some people who were immortalised for their deeds - both good and bad. Just take Mother Theresa and Adolf Hitler for exaxmple. Yet, not everyone can change the world. You can change the lives of those around you, though. How you change it is entirely your choice.
Before that, there's one step you need to start with. Change yourself. Choose to live, not to die.
However, since we can't prove that it does, let 's assume it doesn't. Then, why would you choose death over life, why choose to end it? Is it because of the accident that happened to you resulting in your crippled condition? Then know that many have been born with worse, yet they continue to flare their spark of life no matter how short the time left for it to burn bright. Is the wound to you mental, rather than physical? Say you've lost loved ones, and not just by death? There've been many who lost everyone they've loved in wars, disasters, famine, yet they found others to love and be loved. Is it simply because you cannot find the drive to live? Then what, exactly, rouses your passion?
What has been the drive to survive for living beings around the world? Observing the history of the living, its obvious that many were drived to be immortal. Not in the sense of lifespan, of course, but every animal and plant wanted to ensure its continued existence on Earth through leaving its trace in the form of genes. Yep, if you can't live on as yourself, then live as the on whom you borne.
But in the civilised life of today's humans, that is not what you'd call "the way". Rather, there are some people who were immortalised for their deeds - both good and bad. Just take Mother Theresa and Adolf Hitler for exaxmple. Yet, not everyone can change the world. You can change the lives of those around you, though. How you change it is entirely your choice.
Before that, there's one step you need to start with. Change yourself. Choose to live, not to die.
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